If the word shit offends you, this post is not for you – click away now, do not pass GO. If the word shit offends you, I don’t really give a shit, and you probably don’t know shit.
Shit is a glorious term – an expressive and varied noun, a demonstrative and illuminating verb, and a necessity for some of the best phrases in English. I feel I have become more attuned to shit here in The Gambia. I’ve had the shits on such a regular basis these past two years that i have a far greater appreciation for regularity. I’ve often been shitting bricks worrying that I will get the shits again at an inopportune moment. Luckily I’ve only been caught up shit’s creek without a paddle once.
One thing I don’t give a shit about anymore is toilet paper (British slang for TP – bog roll; also glorious language, “I’m going to the bog”, so evocative). I use water here when I get dirty. My friend Peter once gave this convincing argument of why not to use TP – he asked,
“If you got some shit on your arm would you just wipe it off with some TP or would you wash it off with soap and water?”
Do bears shit in the woods?
So why is it different with your anus? You got that shit dirty, you need to give that shit a wash. No shit Sherlock. Unless you’ve got shit for brains it makes sense. The amount of time Peace Corps volunteers shoot the shit about shit is quite impressive. Peace Corps gives you the time to contemplate this sort of shit and try to attempt to get your shit together, even if you do think the place you live is bit of a shithole sometimes and your job consists of one shitshow after another.
I hope I don’t get in shit with anyone for repeatedly being so seemingly vulgar. I nearly shitcanned this post in fear that people would think I’m a bit of a shitbag. The term shit was originally a neutral term and used without vulgar connotation to indicate diarrhea, and it is only relatively recently that it has become a swear/curse word. I’m doing my little part to reclaim it. I have written shit a shitload of times, but I’m not doing it to be a shit stirrer, I’m doing it to make a point. Regardless I’m sure I would still be put on some people’s shitlist if they read this.
I feel I should clarify that I am not shitfaced whilst writing this and I hope the shit doesn’t hit the fan and no disastrous consequences come of writing this shithot post.
Also related to shit – this is one of the first things I will be buying when I am out of this country.